We live in a world that is moving at breakneck speed. Change is all around us and our individual choices about how to live our lives are greater than ever before. This can be both exhilarating and immobilizing. I talk to clients everyday who are trying to create positive changes in their lives and are looking for the best ways possible to break through their limiting thoughts, beliefs and actions so as to create the lives they imagine and desire.
As a psychotherapist and life coach who has been in private practice for over 10 years, I have searched diligently for the most effective tools and techniques to help both my clients and myself navigate the sometimes treacherous terrain of personal transformation and healing.
In the last month, I have put to test some of the tools I study and recommend. The decision to make some big changes in my life was made over a period of time, yet in the last month I closed my psychotherapy practice in Providence, RI, and moved to Denver, CO. I sold my home, drove 2, 000 miles, moved into a new place, left behind a stable income, said good-bye to friends and family and walked into a new life.
Upon arriving in Denver I instantly felt I was “home”. I am living 5 blocks from one of my closest friends, I love my new living space across the street from one of Denver’s most beautiful parks and I very unexpectedly entered into a new romance. Have there been bumps and moments of fear along the way? Yes, but for the most part the experience has exceeded my expectations.
How do we create and navigate big life changes? Here are some things I have put into practice in my own journey:
- Learn to Listen to Your Heart
I wanted to move from RI for quite some time, but never felt “free” to go. There was quite a bit of inner turmoil and conflict around this decision for longer than I care to admit. In retrospect, I can see that there is divine timing in our lives that is in effect and beyond our control. My heart knew I would leave one day and it also knew I needed to wait until the time was right.
My rational mind did not like this and wanted to control this process. I did a lot of soul searching and deep listening to navigate this decision in the most skillful way. There were many times my ego wanted to leave, yet my heart knew I needed to wait and be patient. It’s important to learn to distinguish these two different voices in order to make the most beneficial decisions.
I can now see that by staying in RI as long as I did, I learned certain lessons. I learned about patience, proper preparation, discipline, resilience, self-compassion, self-trust and how to be alone and stand on my own two feet. As hard as these lessons were, I value them now.
- Let go and Trust
Once, I made the decision to leave I felt myself shift into a different inner state. I let go on some level and trusted in the process. I listened deeply to my inner voice and tried to live in the present moment as much as possible. On some level I knew this would guide me to the best possible outcome.
I listened for guidance on how and when to look for a new living space and found something quickly and easily. I trusted my gut on which realtor to use and what price to sell my house. She sold it in one day. I let go of my private practice and said good-bye to my clients and colleagues. I didn’t, and still don’t, know what will fill its place, yet each day I make the conscious decision to trust I will be taken care of and new doors will open.
I feel I am being tested and asked to deeply trust in this decision and process. I have chosen to trust in my desire to not work much right now. I took a month off and am taking it slowly. While my mind is screaming that I should be working more, my heart wants a break, a rest. Daily, I choose to listen to my heart despite the fear that comes up.
- Stay in a High Vibration
Most of living life is a mind-game. We get to choose how we view our life, the things that happen and the decisions we make. Our thoughts can completely change the meaning of any experience and it is our individual responsibility to choose our thoughts wisely.
The thoughts we choose create the energy we carry in our field and carry their own vibration. Depressed thoughts create a low vibration while thoughts of love and gratitude create a higher frequency or vibration. The more we stay in a high vibration, the more we attract and create from that frequency. Like attracts like and the higher our frequency, the better we optimize our opportunities and experiences.
I work daily on lifting my thoughts and vibration through certain practices. My main tools are listening to music, walking and jogging in nature and meditation. These activities feed my soul, cultivate my inspiration and connect me to my inner guidance. When I do not do them, life goes from Technicolor to black and white. I feel flat, uncertain and uninspired.
Change is a constant. We live in a world that is not going to slow down and our ability to navigate change will be called upon like never before. What changes are you wanting to make and what will it take to put those changes into action?
It takes vision, passion and a deep sense of purpose to make life-altering changes, yet without that we may leave this world feeling unfulfilled. Today, more than ever, our world needs us all to fulfill our missions, fully express our gifts and talents and make the best contribution possible to leave this world a better place.