You're Not Too Sensitive - You May Be Experiencing Narcissistic Abuse

Understanding emotional manipulation and how to begin healing

Do you often feel like the problem in your relationships — even when your intentions are kind and your needs are reasonable? Do you leave conversations feeling confused, guilty, or emotionally drained? If so, you may be experiencing something known as narcissistic abuse.

While we often associate abuse with physical harm, emotional abuse can be just as damaging — and far more difficult to recognize. Narcissistic abuse, in particular, often flies under the radar because it’s insidious, confusing, and comes from people we may love deeply.

As a holistic psychotherapist, I’ve seen the deep pain this form of abuse can cause — and I want you to know:
You’re not too sensitive. You’re not imagining things. And you’re not alone.

What Is Narcissistic Abuse?

Narcissistic abuse is a form of emotional manipulation that occurs in relationships where one person consistently dismisses, devalues, or controls the other. The narcissist may appear charming to the outside world, but behind closed doors they engage in subtle (or overt) behaviors that undermine your sense of self.

This form of abuse can occur in any type of relationship:

A parent or caregiver
A romantic partner
A sibling, friend, or even co-worker

Many of my clients enter therapy not fully realizing that what they’re experiencing has a name. They just know they feel exhausted, insecure, constantly blamed, and unsure of their own reality.

Common Traits of Narcissistic Behavior

Narcissism exists on a spectrum, but some key characteristics include:

A lack of empathy for others
Dismissing or invalidating your feelings
Blaming others for their own mistakes
A need to be the center of attention
Using guilt, gaslighting, or silent treatment to control you
An inability to admit wrongdoing
Viewing relationships as transactional or disposable
Becoming angry or cruel when confronted

Not all narcissists look the same — some are overt and grandiose, others are quiet, passive-aggressive, or victim-oriented (often referred to as covert narcissists).

Why Narcissistic Abuse Is So Hard to Identify

Because the abuse is often emotional and psychological — not physical — it can be confusing to name. The narcissist may occasionally show affection, offer an apology, or say they love you, which causes you to second-guess your feelings.

This intermittent reinforcement creates a trauma bond — a powerful emotional loop that makes it incredibly hard to leave or even recognize the dysfunction.

The Deeper Impact: When the Wound Starts in Childhood

Many clients who are struggling in adult relationships with narcissists had a narcissistic or emotionally unavailable parent. When this is your first model of “love,” you may unconsciously recreate that pattern in adult relationships, hoping to finally receive the love you never got as a child.

It’s not your fault. This is how the nervous system and attachment system work — they seek the familiar, even when it’s painful. But awareness changes everything.

So What Can You Do?

The first step is to name what’s happening. That clarity is powerful.

If you suspect you’re in a narcissistic dynamic, here are some important actions to consider:

🌱 1. Educate Yourself

Learn about narcissism and emotional abuse so you can begin to trust your own perceptions again. Awareness restores power.

🌱 2. Set Boundaries

Limit what you share with the narcissist. Reduce contact when possible, and protect your emotional space. You do not owe anyone unlimited access to your energy.

🌱 3. Don’t Try to Change Them

Narcissists rarely seek help or see themselves as part of the problem. Trying to fix or please them keeps you in the cycle. Your healing begins when you focus on yourself.

🌱 4. Seek Holistic Support

Find a therapist or coach who truly understands narcissistic abuse. Not all mental health professionals are trained in this area. The wrong kind of support can make you feel even more invalidated. Look for trauma-informed, attachment-based, and holistic approaches that address the body, mind, and spirit.

🌱 5. Reclaim Healthy Love

Surround yourself with people who treat you with care and respect. This might be your “chosen family,” a spiritual group, a 12-step community, or soul-aligned friendships. Slowly, your nervous system will begin to learn what real safety feels like.

Grieving the Love You Didn’t Receive

Realizing someone you love — especially a parent — is narcissistic can be heartbreaking. There may be a deep period of grief and disillusionment. That’s normal, and part of the healing process. You are mourning the love, support, and safety you deserved but didn’t receive.

Know that you can re-parent yourself. You can create new experiences of love that are consistent, kind, and nurturing — starting with the relationship you have with yourself.

You Are Not Alone — And You Are Not Broken

Healing from narcissistic abuse is possible. It takes time, support, and courage — but it can lead you to a place of clarity, self-worth, and emotional freedom.

If this resonates with you, and you’re ready to begin or deepen your healing journey, I invite you to work with me.

🔗 Call or text me at 401-378-4190 to schedule a complimentary consultation to discuss how I may be of help or visit nancyharriscoaching.com to learn more.

You deserve to feel seen, safe, and supported.
Let’s begin together.

With care,
Nancy
Holistic Psychotherapist & Transformational Life Coach