In my last blog, Where Are You Losing Energy?, I wrote about the many things that can quietly drain us—relationships, work, responsibilities, expectations, and the constant pressure to keep going.
But sometimes the question isn’t only where is your energy going?
Sometimes it’s:
What are you carrying that you’re ready to put down?
I was thinking about this after hearing from so many clients this summer who seemed unusually tired, discouraged, unmotivated, or stuck. There was a heaviness to many of our conversations—a sense of disappointment, loneliness, uncertainty, and simply being worn out.
Maybe some of that was the heat, the wildfires, the difficult news, or spending more time than usual alone with our own thoughts.
But I also wondered whether, for some of us, the heaviness comes from something more personal:
We may be carrying things that we no longer need to carry.
We Carry More Than We Realize
We can carry an enormous amount without realizing it.
We carry expectations about who we’re supposed to be.
We carry responsibility for other people’s feelings.
We carry old disappointments, guilt, resentment, fear, or regret.
We carry relationships that have changed but haven’t been fully acknowledged.
We carry identities we’ve outgrown.
We carry the pressure to succeed, to be strong, to keep everyone happy, or to prove that we’ve made the “right” choices.
And sometimes we carry a version of ourselves that we learned a long time ago was necessary—but may no longer be.
Some of these things may have served an important purpose once.
That doesn’t mean we have to carry them forever.
What Are You Still Trying to Hold Together?
Sometimes exhaustion isn’t a sign that we need to try harder.
It may be a sign that something needs our attention.
You might ask yourself:
- What am I working so hard to maintain?
- What am I afraid might happen if I stop trying?
- Whose expectations am I still trying to meet?
- What am I taking responsibility for that may not actually be mine?
- What am I still trying to prove—and to whom?
- Is there a role I’ve been playing that no longer feels like me?
- What am I holding onto because letting go feels frightening?
- What would become possible if I didn’t have to keep carrying this?
These questions don’t necessarily lead to immediate answers.
And they don’t need to.
Sometimes simply recognizing what has become too heavy is the beginning of change.
Letting Go Can Bring Grief
There can be grief in putting something down—even when we know it’s the right thing to do.
We may grieve a relationship we hoped would become something different.
A career path that once felt right.
A dream that didn’t unfold as we imagined.
An identity that gave us security.
A version of ourselves we spent years becoming.
Or even the life we thought we were supposed to have.
Grief doesn’t necessarily mean we’ve made the wrong choice.
Sometimes grief is simply evidence that something mattered.
We don’t have to deny what was meaningful in order to move forward.
We can honor what something gave us—and still decide that we’re ready for something different.
You Don’t Have to Figure Out What’s Next
One of the reasons we hold on is that we’re afraid of the space that will be left behind.
If I let go of this relationship, who will I be?
If I stop pursuing this career, what will I do?
If I stop trying to make everyone happy, what will people think?
If I stop living according to the expectations I’ve carried for years, then what?
We often want to know what comes next before we’re willing to release what isn’t working anymore.
But life doesn’t always work that way.
Sometimes there is a period of not knowing.
A space between what was and what hasn’t yet taken shape.
That space can feel uncomfortable. It can even feel like being lost.
But perhaps you’re not lost.
Perhaps you’re simply no longer willing to carry the old version of your life—and the new one hasn’t fully revealed itself yet.
What Would You Like to Put Down?
You don’t have to make a dramatic change today.
You might simply become curious about what has become heavy.
Maybe it’s an expectation.
A relationship dynamic.
An old story about yourself.
The need to keep proving something.
The belief that you should be further along by now.
The responsibility for someone else’s happiness.
Or the idea that you have to know exactly what you’re doing next.
You can begin by asking:
What am I ready to stop carrying?
Not What should I do?
Not How do I fix this?
Not even What’s next?
Just:
What am I ready to put down?
Sometimes creating a different life begins not by adding something new, but by becoming willing to carry less.
And when we make room by releasing what no longer belongs to us, we may discover that there is more energy, freedom, and possibility available than we realized.
If you’re in a season of transition and finding it difficult to know what to hold onto and what you’re ready to release, this is something we can explore together. Sometimes having a compassionate, objective space to sort through what you’re carrying can help you see what is truly yours—and what you’re finally ready to put down.
If this sounds like it may be of help, I invite you to learn more about working with me at nancyharriscoaching.com. You can also call or text me at 401-378-4190 to set-up a complimentary 20-minute consultation. I look forward to hearing from you.
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