Nancy Harris Blog - Psychotherapy and life coaching in Denver

How to Attract and Create a Lasting Love…at any Age

Everyone yearns for lasting love, yet it often seems elusive. Why is it so hard to find and then, if you do, why is it so darn hard to keep? As a couple’s therapist and life coach, I have worked with couples and singles for years with relationship struggles, fears, blocks and traumas.

Most of the people I talk with have no idea how to choose a healthy partner and create a loving relationship. I have had several young clients tell me they have no idea what a good relationship looks or feels like because they have never seen one. When I first heard this, I was a bit shocked. But once I heard it multiple times, it sunk in that healthy, lasting, conscious relationships are a rare thing indeed.

We live in a culture that does not teach relationship skills. Why is this not learned in school if not at home? Most people seem at a loss as how to proceed and, after a few failed attempts, often avoid the whole issue altogether.

I recently read the book, It’s Never Too Late for Love by a friend and colleague, Pat Burns. In this beautiful book, Pat and her husband Larry describe their path to meeting and falling in love later in life. Both had previous marriages that did not work out and they individually moved to Maui to enjoy their golden years.

How to Stay Calm in the Storm

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We all know 2020 is about the craziest year ever…

Astrologers will tell you they’ve never seen anything like it. And, according to my favorite astrologer, November is going to be the most intense, and possibly violent, month of the year. Ugh.

We are on the eve of the most contentious election in US history as I write this. Is anyone feeling a little anxiety or perhaps some battle fatigue?

How do we cope with this when it feels like everything we thought we could count on now appears to be made out of a stack of cards and we don’t know who to trust?

Not only is the world looking a bit fragile, but many of us are feeling it in our own personal lives. People and situations we thought we could count on may not be looking so certain after all. The stress of life in quarantine is massive for many and, unfortunately, the collateral damage is staggering.

Since the end of this, shall we say—instability—is nowhere in site, we need to learn how to rise to the occasion and navigate this as best as possible.

What are some basic strategies we can use?

We are a World in Collective Trauma: How do we Cope?

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Where does one start?

Pandemic. People dying. People losing jobs, homes, financial security. Division. Racial Tension. Violence. More people dying. Masks.

Possible mandatory vaccines, economic collapse, second wave, food shortages. Upcoming political elections.

Mistrust. Lies. Deception. Cognitive dissonance.

Did I miss anything. I’m sure I did…

Have we had the alien invasion yet? I’ve heard it’s coming…:)

On top of all this, everyone I speak with is afraid to say the wrong thing. Afraid to upset a friend or family member if they express their true opinion–about pretty much anything.

How did it all come to this?

A Great Transformation is Happening…

by Nancy Harris Leave a Comment

Today is July 4th. A date that has historically marked the birth of a nation and great hope for the future.

Yet, this July 4th is unlike any other. Our lives are currently full of constriction, anxiety and uncertainty about what is going on and who to believe and trust.

We are living in unprecedented times.

The speed now at which things are happening is head-spinning and mind-boggling. It’s a challenge to keep up…

Many of us healers feel we have been preparing for these days for a lifetime. We could feel something coming…for years. Perhaps most everyone could. It all makes sense now.

Don’t kid yourself…Life as we knew it is over.

Something better may be coming if we do this right. If we don’t, I fear what life will look like in the years to come.

We must all stay aware and conscious now. There is no more time to numb out, go to sleep and avoid the issues in our lives that we are here to transform and heal.

This is about more than a virus, inequality, misogyny, racism, police brutality, the economy, politics, fear, deception and whatever else we are facing on any given day.

Whatever problems are “out there” originate from what’s unhealed inside each and every one of us.

A Time of Deep Healing is Upon Us

by Nancy Harris Leave a Comment

It is a very painful time. We are going through a great awakening and a great reckoning in our country for past misdeeds and denial. As a therapist, I have seen for years the pain and suffering that cruelty and denial causes in one’s life and how this behavior damages the lives of those it touches.

So much in our country and culture has been denied. The damage is colossal. Suppressed pain can only be kept buried for so long before it erupts. We are now waking up to our collective unconsciousness and it is very sobering.

I want to express my deep sadness for the death of George Floyd. No one should die like that. My condolences go out to his family, friends, and community. Police brutality of all kinds must end. Racism in all forms must end.

It is time for all of us to examine our beliefs and practices when it comes to racial inequality. It is sobering to look at ways in which we may have participated in this. We have a long road ahead to correct this injustice, but it can be done.

Many of us are having our own deep wounds of trauma activated right now. This can be terrifying. We are all in pain, grief and fear for our future. It is the darkest before the dawn.

We are in the process of creating the new earth. We are waking up to our shadow parts and what we see is not pretty. We can do better than we have done. We must or we may not have much of value to pass on to future generations.

I pray for our country, our world and our people. It is time to come together in love and solve these deep issues. May we have the strength to do what needs to be done.