Nancy Harris Blog - Psychotherapy and life coaching in Denver

A Time of Deep Healing is Upon Us

It is a very painful time. We are going through a great awakening and a great reckoning in our country for past misdeeds and denial. As a therapist, I have seen for years the pain and suffering that cruelty and denial causes in one’s life and how this behavior damages the lives of those it touches.

So much in our country and culture has been denied. The damage is colossal. Suppressed pain can only be kept buried for so long before it erupts. We are now waking up to our collective unconsciousness and it is very sobering.

I want to express my deep sadness for the death of George Floyd. No one should die like that. My condolences go out to his family, friends, and community. Police brutality of all kinds must end. Racism in all forms must end.

It is time for all of us to examine our beliefs and practices when it comes to racial inequality. It is sobering to look at ways in which we may have participated in this. We have a long road ahead to correct this injustice, but it can be done.

Many of us are having our own deep wounds of trauma activated right now. This can be terrifying. We are all in pain, grief and fear for our future. It is the darkest before the dawn.

We are in the process of creating the new earth. We are waking up to our shadow parts and what we see is not pretty. We can do better than we have done. We must or we may not have much of value to pass on to future generations.

I pray for our country, our world and our people. It is time to come together in love and solve these deep issues. May we have the strength to do what needs to be done.

How to Stay Strong in Changing Times: Covid-19 and Beyond

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A World in Crisis

We are waking up daily to a new world. An emerging crisis is upon us like none of us have seen in our lifetimes. Most of us are confused, disoriented and wondering what will come next. There is no clear end in sight and, in some ways, it appears the worst is yet to come.

One thing we can count on, is that the human spirit is strong. We will get through this. It is important to not slip into excessive fear. Every crisis is an opportunity to rise to our greatest potential.

When I meet a new client, I hold the vision and belief that they are able to achieve the goals they desire and overcome the challenges in their life. This global crisis is an opportunity to reach the highest potential in yourself, to master your fear and to stay focused on your strength and resilience.

That does not mean it is time for a denial of feelings. It is Ok to feel grief, fear, anger, even despair and hopelessness. Allow whatever you are feeling to come up and out. Honor the feelings, but do not let them get the better of you. You are bigger and stronger than that. You may not know it, but you are.

Your Future Lies in Your Heart…

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I was doing a guided meditation by my meditation teacher, Joe Dispenza, the other day when I heard him say, “Your future lies in your heart.” A primary aspect of his mediation teachings is to have you focus on your heart while letting go of your habitual clinging to familiar thoughts and feelings.

I often find this instruction challenging as it shows me how much I am unconsciously attached to my conditioned thoughts, which then create my daily reality, even after 30 years of regular mediation!

I can relate to how hard it is to create deep change. It takes a daily practice of disconnecting from the “matrix” of our common reality and consciously choosing to see things in a different way.

The reason this is so important is that we are all caught up in a mass hypnosis of sorts. We are socialized and conditioned to think if we do the “right” things, and make the “most logical and safe” choices then everything will ultimately turn out OK. After all, that’s what we’ve been taught for years by our parents and society. They should know, right?

The Power of Saying “NO”

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I can’t count the number of conversations I have had in the past few weeks with women who are stuck in situations in which they feel frustrated, unfulfilled, disappointed, unappreciated, disrespected, confused, unhappy, etc., because they are afraid to say NO.

It has looked something like this:

The woman with a high-level job who lives with a neglectful partner and is having an affair with another emotionally unavailable man, but is afraid to leave both because she feels guilty.

The woman running her own successful business who is disrespected by an employee she is afraid to fire.

The woman who is overwhelmed by the job she doesn’t like, but stays because it impresses her parents.

Endings Lead to Beginnings

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Something has been happening this year to a lot of people who I have been speaking with. Things are ending. Things they never thought would end.

Is this anything new? I don’t know. Life is full of endings…and new beginnings. It’s always been that way—since the beginning of time, I suppose.

Buddhism states that all life is suffering due to the impermanence of everything.

Non-attachment is a useful skill. Easier said than done. We all want to feel we can count on someone and something to be there for us, especially in times of deep need.

I recently read the book, The Surrender Experiment, by Michael Singer. In this book he describes his decades-long practice of saying “yes” to people, circumstances and opportunities that entered his life whether or not his ego-mind wanted to say yes.