Creativity and Courage Archives

Your Future Lies in Your Heart…

I was doing a guided meditation by my meditation teacher, Joe Dispenza, the other day when I heard him say, “Your future lies in your heart.” A primary aspect of his mediation teachings is to have you focus on your heart while letting go of your habitual clinging to familiar thoughts and feelings.

I often find this instruction challenging as it shows me how much I am unconsciously attached to my conditioned thoughts, which then create my daily reality, even after 30 years of regular mediation!

I can relate to how hard it is to create deep change. It takes a daily practice of disconnecting from the “matrix” of our common reality and consciously choosing to see things in a different way.

The reason this is so important is that we are all caught up in a mass hypnosis of sorts. We are socialized and conditioned to think if we do the “right” things, and make the “most logical and safe” choices then everything will ultimately turn out OK. After all, that’s what we’ve been taught for years by our parents and society. They should know, right?

What it Feels Like to Grow

by Nancy Harris Leave a Comment

One of the most common phrases I hear people say when we discuss steps to change their life is, “That’s hard…!”

I often respond by saying, “What you are doing now is hard!”

Yeah, sorry…growth is often hard. That’s the truth. I won’t sugar coat it or lie…

I won’t waste your time or money promising quick fixes and easy solutions to most of life’s challenges and problems.

I’ve been around long enough to know there are no quick fixes and no real shortcuts to sustained growth and transformation.

I don’t do bandaid therapy or superficial life coaching. I haven’t found it to work. What works is the true grit of deep self-determination, self-confrontation and the courage to do what it takes to move through blocks and fears.

I have seen people work miracles in their lives when they stick with it. It is often my most down and out client who surprises me the most with the transformation they make. People amaze me. You never know what guts they have.

How to Deal with Fear of Change

by Nancy Harris Leave a Comment

Change is the one constant we can be sure of. It is going on all around us at breakneck speed and shows no evidence of slowing down. In most cases, the changes in our world are going to speed up, get messier and be less predictable. If we don’t learn to become comfortable with this and to create the necessary changes in our own lives to keep up with it, we will be left behind.

As a therapist and life coach I work with clients all day long who are trying to create changes in their lives. Often they want new career opportunities or their own business with more creativity, flexibility and freedom. They desire better relationships with a spouse, family member or colleague. They may want to change living situations, geographic location, start a new relationship, or improve their health, fitness and finances. The list is endless.

Change drives us and fascinates us. Yet, it also frustrates us and scares us like nothing else. As much as we may want a change, the desire to stay safe is equally strong. These two opposing forces– to grow, yet stay safe–wreck havoc and inner conflict like nothing else. I once heard someone say, “If you want to grow, get comfortable with being uncomfortable.”

So what is one to do?

Here are 5 steps to help you navigate change more skillfully and with less fear:

How to Live a Life Uncommon

by Nancy Harris Leave a Comment

One of my favorite songs is Life Uncommon by Jewel. When I hear that song it makes me think of those who make brave, heartfelt choices, often far from mainstream thinking, that carry incalculable risks and the possibility of dire consequences. Yet, these souls persevere as if on some level they had no choice but to follow their uncommon fate and destiny.

I am often struck by how one decision can take one’s life in a completely different direction and trajectory. And, I am humbled by the importance of making all our decisions with our highest wisdom and clarity.

I have been thinking a lot about the power of our choices and decisions the past few weeks as I have watched some current movies such as Joy, The Danish Girl and Brooklyn. If you have seen these movies, you know what I mean.

The characters in these movies made life altering choices that took grit and determination. In Brooklyn we see a young woman immigrate alone from Ireland to America in the 1950’s to seek out greater opportunity, while in Joy, the main character took on huge debt and corrupt business forces to seek a financial way out of her family legacy of pain and dysfunction, and in The Danish Girl, the main character actually lost her life after becoming the first transgender male to undergo a sex change operation in the 1920’s.

The main characters in Joy and The Danish Girl were based on real people. One triumphed with the gutsy choices she made and the other ultimately lost her life. What does it take to make those kinds of choices? What compels someone to stretch to such a degree as to create magnificent success while another makes a bold choice in which they ultimately lose their life?

Do You Trust in Life?

by Nancy Harris 2 Comments

I was recently asked to write a chapter for a book called, Dare to be Authentic:Learning to Trust Yourself. While I did not know of the woman doing the book project when she approached me, I looked over her previous two books, had a conversation with her and said, “Yes”.

Given that I had just moved across country to Denver from Providence, RI, and walked away from my RI-based thriving psychotherapy and life coaching practice, I was certainly practicing daring to be authentic and trusting myself. To then have this woman find my LinkedIn profile and approach me to join her book project seemed a bit serendipitous to say the least.

I love it when life lines up like that. It feels like a confirmation that I am heading in the right direction and receiving a nudge to keep going. It reminds me to trust life and be true to my deep desires and yearnings.

My recent experience of moving across country and starting my life over in a new location has been a lesson in trusting myself and life. It has also been a lesson in trusting in my ability to navigate both the challenges and opportunities of major change and transformation.

When navigating life’s big transitions, how can we all learn to trust more in life? What have I learned so far?