Personal Growth Archives

The Power of Saying “NO”

I can’t count the number of conversations I have had in the past few weeks with women who are stuck in situations in which they feel frustrated, unfulfilled, disappointed, unappreciated, disrespected, confused, unhappy, etc., because they are afraid to say NO.

It has looked something like this:

The woman with a high-level job who lives with a neglectful partner and is having an affair with another emotionally unavailable man, but is afraid to leave both because she feels guilty.

The woman running her own successful business who is disrespected by an employee she is afraid to fire.

The woman who is overwhelmed by the job she doesn’t like, but stays because it impresses her parents.

Rough Times Ahead?

by Nancy Harris Leave a Comment

I think most of us would agree, it’s been a bumpy ride this year globally, nationally and individually for many of us.

I believe our consciousness has a lot to do with the circumstances surrounding us. Many of us have been asleep and unconscious for a long time.

We have unwittingly participated in creating the mess.

It’s time to wake up.

There’s no more time for apathy, avoidance, denial and procrastination. We can’t keep thinking someone else will take care of the problems. We are largely in the position we are in because of our narrow-sightedness and unwillingness to pay attention to what is happening in our personal lives and the collective as a whole.

Hence, here we are. Rough times ahead?

No doubt.

But, how rough it gets will depend somewhat on how we handle ourselves in the storm. This is true in life’s daily struggles as well as with the larger global events.

What’s Happening on Planet Earth?

by Nancy Harris Leave a Comment

It took me many years to realize that life is a series of one major transition after another. Just when you get through one big challenge and think you can coast for awhile, there is another thing to contend with. However, I have been on the planet long enough to know that the intensity and frequency of the challenges we are now facing is increasing like never before.

What is going on out there? And why is our personal stuff getting triggered so relentlessly? Can’t we just have a break?

Evidently not.

Most of you reading this probably know we are going through a major transition and spiritual awakening on the planet. We are being asked to shift our consciousness, to wake up and realize who we truly are. For too many years we have not challenged the status quo, we have blindly followed authority like sheep and simply bought what we were being told.

This pattern has gotten so out of control that we are now being lied to on a fairly regular basis by the powers that be. Part of the reason this is happening is because we have collectively given our power away. It took this much to get us to pay attention.

They now have our attention. Millions of women and men took to the streets all over the world this past Saturday to march for human rights and to send a clear message to our new president. The turn out across the world was unprecedented and unexpected. It was also remarkably non-violent, with no arrests that I have heard of, given the huge number of people involved.

(The picture above is from the Denver Women’s March.)

Are You Living Your Calling?

by Nancy Harris Leave a Comment

All of us want to live lives of meaning and purpose in which we are using our talents and gifts and making a positive difference. Yet how many of us are actually fulfilling this call? Perhaps a lucky few of us get up each day filled with energy and enthusiasm and a deep inner knowing that we are doing what our soul came here to do.

It’s my belief that each of us has a unique purpose that only we can fulfill. That in our hearts, we yearn to complete that mission. This may or may not take the form of a career. Our purpose may be multifaceted and most likely will change at different stages of life. It may take the form of volunteer work, a hobby, caring for an elderly parent, raising our children or starting a new business.

From what I have seen as a coach, many of us get pulled off track at a young age from fulfilling our passion due to losing touch with our deeper self. We get caught up in people pleasing–often as children–and disconnect from our own dreams, talents and gifts. We’ll please our parents, teachers and other authority figures before ourselves. This can cause years of lost time, buried ambitions and missed opportunities.

At a certain point in life, this inauthenticity often becomes unbearable, situations erupt, perfect storms are created and a rupture happens. Life as we know it is simply no longer working. The soul wants to be heard and recognized…and we’re being given a chance to begin again. The question is, will we listen and chose differently?

It’s Time to Ask More Powerful Questions About Your Life

by Nancy Harris Leave a Comment

I was working with a client this week with chronic health issues. She has struggled for years with nagging symptoms that are kind of elusive and hard to pin down. She’s tired, needs to take naps during the day, doesn’t sleep well, and gets heart palpitations that sometimes lead to panic attacks.

She’s constantly ruminating about her symptoms and trying to make them better. She knows this doesn’t really help, but can’t stop. She says her mother told her recently she was worried about her health even as a child.

In her frustration to get this figured out she suggested we explore the possibility that this may be related to a past life. “I have to figure out why I create this and why it is happening!”

I gently told her I don’t think the reason “why” is really all that important. And the past life is over. I asked her what good that would do. She looked a bit shocked. I said we could spend the next 6 weeks looking at why she has these fears about her health, but the more important question is what she is going to do about it.

Her brain is clearly habituated to this kind of rumination and going down the road of “why” is only going to reinforce the helplessness, frustration and analysis paralysis. It is a deeply ingrained mental habit that needs to be overcome by expanding her awareness to the more important questions in her life such as, “What would feel better than this and how do I get there instead of here?”

I suggested she needs to create a more compelling life than one focused on health concerns. What we focus on grows and there is more to her life than fear, pain and limitation.