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Are They Gaslighting? How to Recognize and Protect Yourself from Manipulation-Part 2

How to Protect Yourself from Gaslighting

If you recognize signs of gaslighting, (see Part 1), in your relationship with a partner, boss, friend, or family member, it’s important to take action to protect yourself:

Trust Your Gut – If something feels off, don’t ignore it. Your instincts are valid.
Keep a Record – Write down conversations, events, and incidents to refer back to later if the gaslighter tries to twist the narrative.
Seek Support – Talk to a trusted friend, therapist, or support group to gain an outside perspective.
Set Boundaries – Don’t engage in arguments that go in circles or try to prove yourself to someone determined to distort reality.
Educate Yourself – Learning more about gaslighting can help you recognize it and respond more effectively.
Consider Distance – If possible, reducing or cutting contact with the gaslighter may be necessary for your mental well-being.

Are They Gaslighting? How to Recognize and Protect Yourself from Manipulation-Part 1

by Nancy Harris 1 Comment

It is my belief that the psychological manipulation of gaslighting is one of the most painful things any person can endure. This kind of treatment drives clients to my office more than pretty much anything else. Gaslighting and other forms of narcissistic abuse can, at its worse, be deadly. Get help if you are experiencing this on a regular basis.

What is gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a subtle yet insidious form of psychological manipulation that can leave you questioning your own reality, perception and, in its worse cases, your sanity. Whether it occurs in personal relationships, the workplace, or even in larger societal contexts, gaslighting can erode your confidence and make you feel isolated and confused.

What to Do When You’re Feeling Unmotivated

by Nancy Harris Leave a Comment

Winter blues, anyone?

We all experience moments of low motivation—those times when even the simplest tasks feel overwhelming. Whether it’s work, personal goals, or everyday responsibilities, feeling stuck is completely normal. The good news? There are ways to reignite your motivation and get back on track.

Since you may be feeling unmotivated, I’ll keep it simple:

1. Identify the Root Cause

Before you can regain motivation, it helps to understand why you’re feeling unmotivated. Are you burned out? Overwhelmed? Lacking purpose? Pinpointing the cause allows you to address it directly.

2. Break Tasks Into Smaller Steps

A big project or goal can feel paralyzing. Instead of focusing on the entire task, break it into small, manageable steps. Completing even one small step can give you a sense of progress and momentum.

Who’s Leading Your Life: Your Social Self or Essential Self?

by Nancy Harris Leave a Comment

One of my early mentors as a life coach was Martha Beck, PhD. I completed her Wayfinder Life Coach Training Program in 2007. Martha is a Harvard grad, prolific author and well-know life coach who wrote the life coach column for Oprah magazine. Her teachings had a great impact on me and I use them to this day with my clients.

Martha taught that there are two things in life that take us off our authentic path: trauma and socialization. When young, it is natural to be in full expression of your essential or authentic self if you are lucky enough to be raised in a healthy household with parents who support and foster that expression. However, at some point the authentic self is largely abandoned for the social self in order to survive the culture, fit in and go along with the program.

This self-abandonment can have dire consequences that lead to a half-lived life and dreams long forgotten. The results of this are often what bring clients into my office wondering why they are not happy when they did everything that was expected of them. It’s the classic mid-life crisis, yet it can happen at any age.

How do we find balance and peace between these two parts of ourself when we have to live in a world that expects us to conform in order to survive? And, if we have given too much credence to the wishes of others, can we right the ship and still fulfill our dreams and desires? I believe you can re-align with your essential self at any time and create a more fulfilling life.

Let’s take a quick look at the divide and how this typically plays out:

Are You Dealing with a Narcissist?

by Nancy Harris 1 Comment

It is said that narcissism and narcissistic behavior is on the rise. One reason being that social media encourages and rewards self-centered and self-absorbed behavior. Perhaps the word narcissism is over-used now, but the pain of narcissistic abuse is no doubt pervasive and real.

At any one point in time, I would guess at least 50% of my clients are in therapy because of pain from a relationship with a narcissistic person in their lives. Oftentimes, they do not realize they are dealing with a narcissist. They just know they hurt and cannot seem to make any progress or change in this relationship no matter how hard they try.

What is narcissism? It is stated that about 7% of the world’s population has true narcissistic personality disorder. Yet, many more people are on the spectrum with strong features of this disorder. It can take time to uncover this behavior and truly understand what you are dealing with.

There are covert and overt narcissists. I am going to give a brief, general overview. You can find more details elsewhere.

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