I was recently asked to write a chapter for a book called, Dare to be Authentic:Learning to Trust Yourself. While I did not know of the woman doing the book project when she approached me, I looked over her previous two books, had a conversation with her and said, “Yes”.
Given that I had just moved across country to Denver from Providence, RI, and walked away from my RI-based thriving psychotherapy and life coaching practice, I was certainly practicing daring to be authentic and trusting myself. To then have this woman find my LinkedIn profile and approach me to join her book project seemed a bit serendipitous to say the least.
I love it when life lines up like that. It feels like a confirmation that I am heading in the right direction and receiving a nudge to keep going. It reminds me to trust life and be true to my deep desires and yearnings.
My recent experience of moving across country and starting my life over in a new location has been a lesson in trusting myself and life. It has also been a lesson in trusting in my ability to navigate both the challenges and opportunities of major change and transformation.
When navigating life’s big transitions, how can we all learn to trust more in life? What have I learned so far?
- Proper Preparation is Important
Many things about my move have exceeded my expectations and I believe part of the reason is because I prepared myself for this move long before I did it.
I prepared financially by getting myself in a place in which I did not have to be fearful around money. I prepared professionally by creating a new top-notch website for my business and getting some expert business coaching and training. I prepared socially by maintaining solid friendships with a core group of supportive friends who I can rely on when needed. I prepared physically by taking good care of myself with my regular meditation practice and exercise routine. I prepared psychologically by working on my limiting beliefs and inner blocks to believing I can have more of what I want in my life. And, I prepared spiritually by developing a deep trust in listening to my inner guidance.
- Many Things Turn Out Better Than We Expect
I believe my preparation allowed me to make this change from a relaxed and receptive place that kept me open to attract certain opportunities such as the book chapter offer. I also maintained a steady stream of phone clients during my transition that have kept me confident around work while giving me a needed break from the heavy demands of my full-time private practice in Providence. This has allowed me to generate some income while I settle in, regroup and align with my next steps.
And my choice to follow my heart and move to this new location, led me to a new and unexpected romance that also feels partially due to the inner healing and preparation I have done since my divorce. This has led to my doing many new activities and meeting new people that I otherwise would not be exposed to.
- There are Unexpected Challenges
While many things have gone exceedingly well, there have been unexpected challenges. I have had a hard time with seemingly minor details like getting technology set up. I had no reliable phone service for close to 5 weeks while my service provider stumbled to get me set up. My internet connection was unpredictable and unstable for a few weeks. My printer constantly dropped offline. My heat has not worked consistently in my living space until today.
The endless details of getting new car insurance, driver’s license, license plates, health insurance, bank accounts, doing all my change of addresses and tracking down missing mail has thrown me over the edge more than once. I felt myself going into a downward spiral of frustration, fatigue and anxiety this week as these details seemed endless and beyond tedious. I did not expect these kinds of frustrations to drag on for so long and wish I could have remained more patient with the process, but it got the better of me at times.
Despite the challenges and frustrations, my new life feels 100% right and meant to be. I love living in Denver and have not questioned my decision for one second. I feel like I am “home” and look forward to settling in and further developing my life here.
I trusted myself. I trusted life and have landed on my feet with a deep inner knowing that I made the right decision and am meant to be here.
I see clients doubt their desires all the time and turn their back on trusting themselves and trusting in the journey of life. There are no guarantees that things will turn out the way we want. Some things may be harder than you expect and other things may far exceed your expectations.
However, I do know that if you chose to trust in yourself, do your inner work and prepare yourself as best as possible for life’s transitions, life will rise up to meet you in unexpected ways and you may find yourself pleasantly surprised.
Do you trust in life? Do you trust in yourself? What changes do you want to make and what steps do you need to take to learn to trust more deeply? Begin now. Say “Yes” to life. Your best life is waiting for you to claim it.
I really like your approach to life coaching! Being prepared is definitely a big part. In other words, I had a life coaching client who booked several sessions and then tells me he wants to kill himself before we really get started. I told him he wasn’t even prepared to begin life coaching after that.
Thank you, Brenda, for your comment. It is often true that clients want “life coaching” when they need to do some deeper healing before they are ready to be coached. As coaches we need to be aware of that and refer the client to other help if needed. Good for you that you did so.