When I trained as a Life Coach with Martha Beck, PhD, much of the focus was on how to guide clients to make the most authentic life choices that ultimately lead them down the path to their highest destiny. Who doesn’t want to feel at the end of their days that they fulfilled their mission or purpose and lived their best possible life? This is where learning to use the body as a compass can literally save your life.
The problem is no one really teaches us how to do this.
What I have seen as a coach and therapist is that most of us spend the first few decades of our lives, fulfilling social and familial expectations and as a result doing lots of self-betrayal and self-abandonment in the process.
What does this look like?
It looks like choosing the career that can make the most money instead of the one that inspires us. Or marrying the partner that, “looks good on paper” but feels like a never-ending project. Or buying the house in the suburbs and having kids when we really desire is move to another country and travel. Or dropping out of grad school because it feels too hard, yet the crummy job feels even harder.
What then ends up happening is these are the people who come into my office anywhere from age 48-55 wondering where all the time went and why they are not happy. It’s the classic midlife crisis, yet it can happen at any age. If you can relate, it’s not your fault. You were simply following what you were conditioned to do.
The sad thing is, when I question these clients about whether they had any clues that they were making less than optimal choices, they almost always tell me they knew. And, their body compass was the primary factor.
It often sounds like this:
I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach when I bought that house instead of moving where I really wanted to live.
Or, I would often feel tense and tight when he was lying to me, but I just ignored it.
I felt anxious whenever she talked about money because I suspected she was hiding somewhat, yet I never asked to look at the accounts.
My migraines started when I went to business school. I didn’t want to study business, but my parents said I would never make a living as an artist.
Sound familiar? We’ve all done some version of this.
The good news is, we have the instincts inside our body to tell us in any moment if something is right or wrong for us. We can learn to follow our body compass no matter what age and no matter how many times we have dismissed it. It’s not as hard as you may think, but it does take some courage and commitment to listen and do what’s best for you.
If you relate, See Part 2 of this blog to learn some next steps.
Read next: How to Use Your Body Compass: Navigating Life with Intuition and Awareness—Part 2
Also read: How to Listen to Your Soul: A Guide to Deepening Self-Awareness
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