Who are you Being in the World and do You Like it?

I recently attended a conference with my mentor coach and 150 women who are currently taking her year-long coach training program. My mentor is a highly successful, well-known, accomplished, transformational coach who teaches the business, mindset, and coaching skills to create a thriving business in this field. She has developed a multi-million dollar coaching company, which is rare in this field, knows what it takes to do so, and teaches by example as any true mentor does.

However, I have been around the personal growth arena long enough to have heard the stories and seen the examples of mentors preaching one thing and showing up as another.

We’ve all heard the stories of the well-known person who has the persona of being all wise and loving, but treats her staff, employees or general public as second class citizens who are underpaid, mistreated and unappreciated.

I once heard one well know author and spiritual teacher admit to cruelly lashing out at an airline employee who had bad news about her flight being cancelled. A few minutes after doing this, someone in the line came up to her and told her how much she loved her books. Needless to say, this author felt humiliated and ashamed. She had the ability to see her shadow side and had the courage to speak about it publicly. (Even though she told this story, I feel best not to mention her name. You’ve probably heard of her.)

When I discovered my mentor coach about 9 months ago, I started listening carefully to her radio show and reading her newsletters. I wanted to know if she was the “real deal”; someone I could relate to, learn from, and most of all, respect. Did I want her as a mentor? Would I end up being disillusioned and disappointed? I know we are all human and full of imperfections, but I’ve been in this personal growth field a long time and I was craving someone who could really challenge me, teach me to go to the next level, and get out of my own way in terms of personal and business expansion and growth.

But, most of all, I wanted authenticity. I wanted to be around and learn from someone who walked her talk with courage, truth and integrity. I wanted the “real deal”.

One of the things that intrigued me most about this woman is that she has a personal mission of helping women learn to be “Queens” in their lives. Beneath all the business strategies, skills, coaching processes and techniques, she teaches that success and personal fulfillment are really about who you are being in the world. She describes the Queen archetype as being the masterful blend of the divine feminine and divine masculine energy in our life. And from what I could see, she is living this to the best of her ability.

She appears to run her business with the feminine skills of connecting deeply to her desires, listening to her inner guidance and intuition, working with the subconscious realm of her thoughts and beliefs, expecting to receive the intended miracle and cultivating her deep spiritual faith in God. In addition to this, she seems masterful at the masculine traits of taking swift and necessary action, doing the hard work it takes to make things happen in the world, creating solid business structures, attending to the legal aspects of running a business and hiring the needed support staff.

A few months before finding this mentor, I had begun to develop my own coaching program, Divine Feminine Living, based on my 20 years of being a therapist and coach. It felt like a divinely guided synchronicity to have this person appear in my life who is modeling and teaching her version of working with both feminine and masculine power, inner guidance, spirituality and integrating this into her life and business.

After following this woman’s teachings for a while, I decided to invest in her year-long coaching program and attend the recent seminar mentioned above. I’ve been in her program for 4 months now and I like what I have seen, experienced and learned. Besides all the coaching tools and skills, what I love the most is this idea of really developing who I am being in the world, connecting with the Queen archetype and being challenged to dive deep into my desires for my life and take full responsibility for making them happen.

This process is of becoming a coach in her program isn’t solely about how to coach others and build a business as much as it is about true inner transformation which is ultimately the deepest work anyone can do. From this foundation, the ability to coach and create a thriving business is then built.

Here’s just a few of the guidelines from our orientation packet about the behaviors expected of us as Queens in this program.

1. We follow a no excuses policy.
2. We celebrate each other—no jealousy, gossiping—ever.
3. Zero negativity or complaining. We only create solutions.
4. We choose to be visible and regularly participate in the program.
5. We get private coaching as needed.
6. We honor our financial commitments.
7. We live in the present moment and not in the past or future.
8. We are totally coachable.
9. We take responsibility for getting the maximum out of this program.
10. We stay on track and out of overwhelm.

There’s more, but this gives you a sampling. These points may sound simplistic, but they are deep. This coaching program is very challenging with a heavy workload and high expectations. These guidelines are a paradigm shift in many ways and serve to make us rise to the best and highest in ourselves.

I appreciate being held to a high standard even though it can also scare me. This is what I was looking for. I wanted a challenge. This is what coaching is about for me. It is about being the best I can be, challenging the weak spots and limiting beliefs, reaching into my depths and bringing out my strengths and talents. It’s about making me and the world a better place.

Who are you being in the world and do you like it?

Are you playing small and hiding or are you bringing your full game to the table? Do you need a mentor to guide, challenge and support you to be more authentic, more alive, more you?

If so, find that mentor, be the person you yearn to be, bring your gifts and talents into the world as if your life depends on it— because it does.