Whose Life Are You Living?

In the book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, by Bronnie Ware, she discusses what most haunts those actively dying about how they ultimately spent their time on earth. What do you think is the number one regret? It is something I can vouch for as someone who has talked with hundreds of people over the past twenty years about their lives. 

Bronnie found that the number one regret of those dying, is not living life according to one’s own terms. Essentially that means making choices in life to please others rather than listening to one’s own heart.

Bronnie states it as: “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

I see this pattern in almost every client in one form or another. We’ve all been there, right? Can you relate?

This can be the client who married a partner who needed caretaking because that was her role in her family as a child. Then at age 50, she realizes she never pursued her own career or dreams. 

Or the client who didn’t chose the profession he really wanted because his father feared he could never make a living at it, yet fifteen years later he still dreams of what it would have been like. 

: Whose Life Are You Living?

There’s the client who’s afraid to move to the new geographic location for fear of not knowing anyone in the new city. Or the one afraid to go to grad school because she would come out with loans so she stays in the dead end job.

Then there are the numerous clients who stay in stagnant and sometimes toxic relationships and marriages for fear of being alone. Yet, the experience of being alone may be the ultimate catalyst to grow into their greater potential.

I could go on and on…Please know, there is no judgement here. We have all done variations of these choices. It is part of being human and learning to navigate the complexities of life.

Will they regret those decisions to play it safe when they are on their death bed? According to the author of the book, chances are good that those unrealized dreams may one day be regrets. Nobody wants to think of the day they will be dying, yet that day will come for us all. 

Where are you holding back and not stepping into your dreams? Granted the world we live in now is a scary place. It seems more chaotic, unpredictable and toxic than ever. However, are you going to let that stop you? 

As a life coach, I have seen that when one taps into the true desires in one’s heart, the universe gets behind you. That means forces conspire to help you actualize the dream. That is how life works. 

We are meant to grow, evolve and become our full potential, not to play it safe. I believe that is why those on their deathbed had the primary regret of not living a life true to themself. It is somehow programmed into our DNA that it is our life’s mission to fulfill certain dreams, yet we forget that along the way. We people please, self-abandon and self-betray, but deep down inside we know something is not right. 

It’s never too late to course correct and get on track. It doesn’t mean you have to abandon your life as you know it, but it does mean you have to slow down and listen to the inner promptings you are receiving. 

Life can be changed one small step at a time. We can align with our heart at any time and get on track so when we are at the end of life, we don’t have the number one regret that so many have.

Take some time now to hear what your inner voice is telling you and get the support you need to do what it says. Most likely, you won’t regret it.