I was recently interviewed by online magazine, RelationshipsAreComplicated.com. To learn a little more about me, click this Interview with Nancy Harris.
Self-care Strategies for Managing Tough Times
I was recently asked to give a talk on self-care for The Women’s March on Colorado Summit in Denver, CO. Here is the text of my talk.
I’m here to talk with you about how you are feeling and coping with the stress of the times we are living in and hopefully give you a few strategies for managing things better.
Let me start by giving you an overview of what I have seen as a psychotherapist and life coach in private practice for the past 15 years. I would have to say that in the past year or so I have seen the highest levels of stress, confusion, and fear in my clients than I’ve ever seen before.
My clients are talking more about what is going on in our country and our world in their sessions than they used to. I see a sense of disbelief, outrage, despair and grief over what is happening to our country, increasing anxiety about what will happen next, and how this will all ultimately turn out.
I think we all feel fear and a deep concern around not knowing what to do to make things better. Needless to say, stress levels are at an all time high and we are all searching for ways to make sense of it, cope, and feel better.
It’s pretty clear that the way things are being dealt with by the powers that be is not working very well.There must be a better way to approach our situation and create the changes we want and so desperately need.
I often think of the quote by Albert Einstein in which he said, “ You cannot solve a problem with the same level of thinking that created it.” It is also sometimes translated as, “ You cannot solve problems with the same level of consciousness that created them.”
I think we can say that on a very basic level our problems are being perpetuated by unhealthy, toxic attitudes, behaviors and thinking. We see outright lying, manipulation, character assassination, blaming, name calling, threats, fear mongering, and illegal behaviors… The list goes on and on. I’m sure most of us would agree that if this level of consciousness or thinking continues we are in for a no-win situation at best, and possible annihilation at worst.
Who’s going to change this?
The good news and bad news is it is basically up to us to be the ones to change this. We are the ones we have been waiting for.
Self-care Strategies for Managing Tough Times
Ten Tips for Self-care in Difficult Times
I was recently asked to give a talk on self-care at The Women’s March on Colorado Summit in Denver, CO. It’s no secret that stress is at an all time high.
All you have to do is pick up a newspaper or turn on the news to feel fear, grief and a loss of control. In all my years as a therapist and life coach in private practice, I haven’t seen people more stressed and disillusioned.
I will post the text to my talk in a separate post. Here is a list of ten strategies for self-care that I gave as a handout.
1. Acknowledge your pain. You can’t heal what you don’t feel. Let yourself feel your fear, fatigue, anger, doubt, disconnection, emptiness, hopelessness, loneliness, etc., Whatever you are feeling is OK.
2. Be vulnerable. Speak the truth to at least one other person about what you are feeling and experiencing. It is strong to be vulnerable.
3. Seek balance. Burnout is not noble. We need you to bring your best game to the table. This means you need to know your limits and say no to more than you can handle.
4. Set healthy boundaries. Taking on more than you can handle leads to anger, resentment, martyrdom and loss of self. You serve no one by losing yourself in the process.
5. Practice non-judgement for self and others. We need discernment to know what to rise up against and change, but self-righteous judgment can become toxic, draining and dangerous.
6. Practice compassion for self and others. When we bring compassion to ourselves and our pain it softens the energy, decreases our resistance to what is and allows for healing to occur.
7. Create community. We live in a society full of isolation, disconnection and loneliness. 40% of the population reports feeling lonely. Loneliness increases your risk of dying by 45%. Humans are by nature collaborative and communal. Make time for connection and friendship.
8. Express gratitude. In a time of increasing fear, grief and loss, take time to acknowledge all that you are grateful for in your life. It will help enhance your sense of peace and well-being.
9. Seek solitude. We live in a world full of noise and constant stimulation. Without peace and quiet you cannot hear your inner voice and find you own center. Sit in silence, meditate, walk in nature. Spend some time alone to regroup and recharge.
10. Connect with what brings you pleasure. Without pleasure we become parched, dry, grumpy and depleted. Enjoy the simple things in life. Slow down, play with your kids, your pets, get a massage, take a bath, cook a good meal for yourself…find your joy.
Get Coached by One of Denver’s “Top 20 Life Coaches”
“Spend more time focused upon your dream than upon your reality. The reality gives birth to the dream…but the dream is where you want to put your attention.” ABRAHAM
I am proud to say that I was recently chosen as one of Denver’s “Top 20 Life Coaches” by the national website expertise.com. This is after recently moving to Denver and only being in practice here for a little over one year.
In the past 1 1/2 years, I have completely transformed my life and I want to help you do that, too!
During this time, I moved across country, opened a new holistic psychotherapy and life coaching business and created a busy practice within 6 months. (I was told by colleagues this would be impossible…) I purchased a place to live with a home office to see clients which has been a longtime dream. I’ve met new friends and created a whole new life.
Was it easy? Not by a long shot! It was a risky decision to leave a busy practice in Providence, RI, and start all over in my 50’s. Taking on this venture required me to use every coaching tool that I have spent the last 20 years perfecting and teaching my clients. I now know without a shadow of a doubt that my coaching tools work! When they are utilized consistently, not only do they work, but magical, unexpected things happen…(like being chosen as one of Denver’s “Top 20 Life Coaches”.)
How to Thrive in a Culture of Narcissism
We’ve all heard, and experienced, by now that narcissism is on the rise. We see bad behavior splashed on the front pages of our newspapers on a daily basis, are assaulted by unrestrained opinions on social media, treated callously in the professional workplace and “ghosted” in the dating and social scene.
While we may all act as if we can tolerate these behaviors with minimal annoyance, such actions wound our psyches and souls in ways we often don’t want to acknowledge.
For years now, I have been struck by how many clients seek out my services due to the pain of being in a close relationship with a narcissistic personality be it a parent, spouse, sibling, friend or co-worker. These relationships cause pain, confusion and human carnage. Sometimes the pain lasts a lifetime. It can often derail our health, finances, self-esteem, other relationships and overall zest for life.
How do we protect ourselves from the damage of narcissistic relationships and learn to thrive despite the rising prevalence of this phenomenon in our culture?