All of us want to live lives of meaning and purpose in which we are using our talents and gifts and making a positive difference. Yet how many of us are actually fulfilling this call? Perhaps a lucky few of us get up each day filled with energy and enthusiasm and a deep inner knowing that we are doing what our soul came here to do.
It’s my belief that each of us has a unique purpose that only we can fulfill. That in our hearts, we yearn to complete that mission. This may or may not take the form of a career. Our purpose may be multifaceted and most likely will change at different stages of life. It may take the form of volunteer work, a hobby, caring for an elderly parent, raising our children or starting a new business.
From what I have seen as a coach, many of us get pulled off track at a young age from fulfilling our passion due to losing touch with our deeper self. We get caught up in people pleasing–often as children–and disconnect from our own dreams, talents and gifts. We’ll please our parents, teachers and other authority figures before ourselves. This can cause years of lost time, buried ambitions and missed opportunities.
At a certain point in life, this inauthenticity often becomes unbearable, situations erupt, perfect storms are created and a rupture happens. Life as we know it is simply no longer working. The soul wants to be heard and recognized…and we’re being given a chance to begin again. The question is, will we listen and chose differently?
I was recently asked to write a chapter for a book called, Dare to be Authentic:Learning to Trust Yourself. While I did not know of the woman doing the book project when she approached me, I looked over her previous two books, had a conversation with her and said, “Yes”.
I’ve had a strange assignment the past seven years. It was a tough one of going into the darkness and chaos of having my life fall apart on so many levels I didn’t recognize myself or my life anymore. My self-identity was battered and bruised. I went through a divorce. I found myself living somewhere that didn’t feel like home on any level.
I’ve been working with a client for several weeks now who is in an ambivalent marriage. One of the ways he deals with it is by having affairs. He saw a therapist prior to me who actually supported this behavior and saw it as a way to explore his feelings and help him decide if he wanted to stay in his marriage or not. Several years later, he’s still doing the same behavior and is as stuck as ever.