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How to Stay Strong in Changing Times: Covid-19 and Beyond

A World in Crisis

We are waking up daily to a new world. An emerging crisis is upon us like none of us have seen in our lifetimes. Most of us are confused, disoriented and wondering what will come next. There is no clear end in sight and, in some ways, it appears the worst is yet to come.

One thing we can count on, is that the human spirit is strong. We will get through this. It is important to not slip into excessive fear. Every crisis is an opportunity to rise to our greatest potential.

When I meet a new client, I hold the vision and belief that they are able to achieve the goals they desire and overcome the challenges in their life. This global crisis is an opportunity to reach the highest potential in yourself, to master your fear and to stay focused on your strength and resilience.

That does not mean it is time for a denial of feelings. It is Ok to feel grief, fear, anger, even despair and hopelessness. Allow whatever you are feeling to come up and out. Honor the feelings, but do not let them get the better of you. You are bigger and stronger than that. You may not know it, but you are.

Are You Being Drained By An “Energy Vampire”?

by Nancy Harris 1 Comment

I’ve recently been reading Dr. Christiane Northrup’s new book, Dodging Energy Vampires. This book is a life-saver for highly sensitive people, also known as empaths, who are often the target for “energy vampires”.

In a nutshell, Dr. Northrup is describing what has commonly been referred to as narcissistic abuse. Narcissistic abuse is perpetrated by “energy vampires” on the sensitive souls who they covertly feed off of in order to fuel their own emptiness and dysfunction.

Energy vampires are typically individuals with a character disorder such as narcissism, borderline personally disorder, sociopathy and psychopathy. They can be very charming, disarming and seductive when luring someone into a relationship which is one of the reasons it is so hard to break away.

When things turn bad, the empath is often blind-sided and strives to get back to the “good stuff” which was there in the early days of the relationship. The empath will often continually over-give while receiving less and less in return over time.

Self-care Strategies for Managing Tough Times

by Nancy Harris Leave a Comment

Ten Tips for Self-care in Difficult Times

I was recently asked to give a talk on self-care at The Women’s March on Colorado Summit in Denver, CO. It’s no secret that stress is at an all time high.

All you have to do is pick up a newspaper or turn on the news to feel fear, grief and a loss of control. In all my years as a therapist and life coach in private practice, I haven’t seen people more stressed and disillusioned.

I will post the text to my talk in a separate post. Here is a list of ten strategies for self-care that I gave as a handout.

1. Acknowledge your pain. You can’t heal what you don’t feel. Let yourself feel your fear, fatigue, anger, doubt, disconnection, emptiness, hopelessness, loneliness, etc., Whatever you are feeling is OK.

2. Be vulnerable. Speak the truth to at least one other person about what you are feeling and experiencing. It is strong to be vulnerable.

3. Seek balance. Burnout is not noble. We need you to bring your best game to the table. This means you need to know your limits and say no to more than you can handle.

4. Set healthy boundaries. Taking on more than you can handle leads to anger, resentment, martyrdom and loss of self. You serve no one by losing yourself in the process.

5. Practice non-judgement for self and others. We need discernment to know what to rise up against and change, but self-righteous judgment can become toxic, draining and dangerous.

6. Practice compassion for self and others. When we bring compassion to ourselves and our pain it softens the energy, decreases our resistance to what is and allows for healing to occur.

7. Create community. We live in a society full of isolation, disconnection and loneliness. 40% of the population reports feeling lonely. Loneliness increases your risk of dying by 45%. Humans are by nature collaborative and communal. Make time for connection and friendship.

8. Express gratitude. In a time of increasing fear, grief and loss, take time to acknowledge all that you are grateful for in your life. It will help enhance your sense of peace and well-being.

9. Seek solitude. We live in a world full of noise and constant stimulation. Without peace and quiet you cannot hear your inner voice and find you own center. Sit in silence, meditate, walk in nature. Spend some time alone to regroup and recharge.

10. Connect with what brings you pleasure. Without pleasure we become parched, dry, grumpy and depleted. Enjoy the simple things in life. Slow down, play with your kids, your pets, get a massage, take a bath, cook a good meal for yourself…find your joy.

The Importance of Deep Self-Care. Right Now.

by Nancy Harris Leave a Comment

Has anyone else noticed that the world we are living in appears to be on the verge of a collective nervous breakdown? You’d have to be living in a cave or avoiding the news altogether to not be aware of the extreme levels of stress most of us are experiencing.

We all have the usual stuff to contend with; the family responsibilities, the bills to pay, the health challenges, relationship crises, etc. The list goes on and on.

Add to that, the stress in our country, the political infighting, the fractured relationships with friends and family due to the most contentious election in our lives. And now, the very real concern of an escalation of tempers that could lead to our ultimate demise through nuclear annihilation. Yes, these are challenging times.

My morning today started like most people’s mornings. I took yesterday off due to the holiday. Today I awoke to a flurry of emails, text messages and phone calls. While fielding these necessities, I was preparing my last minute documents for my appointment with my accountant tomorrow to do my taxes. As a self-employed person, tax prep, for me, is complex, stressful and time-consuming. On top of that, I am fighting off the flu.

By 11:00 am I felt kind of fried. I could have kept pushing through, but instead I decided to stop. I shut off my phone and meditated for 30 minutes. I know what you are thinking, “I don’t have time to do that!” Actually, you don’t have time to not do that.

Step Up and Be the Change You Want to See

by Nancy Harris Leave a Comment

I know many of us are feeling beaten down, powerless, fearful and disillusioned right now. We frequently wake up to headlines that are more bizarre and incomprehensible than the day before.

It is truly a time in which “truth” is stranger than fiction. Most of us want to make an impact or difference, yet often the daily responsibilities of life are challenging enough for us to handle without adding in more.

I belong to a small supervision group comprised of five seasoned women therapists all over age 50. We normally discuss clinical issues, get advice on how to best help our clients and share professional tools.

Yet, this week all we talked about was how each of us is feeling and coping with what is going on in the world. It was comforting, yet a bit concerning, to hear things like: “I’m going to bed at 6:30 pm and reading novels for hours.” “All I want to do is watch TV and go to movies.” “I’m needing lots of solitude and alone time.” “I can’t watch the news much these days.” “I’ve been unusually tired.” “I’ve been taking long walks in nature.”

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