Nancy Harris Blog - Psychotherapy and life coaching in Denver

Five Steps to Upgrade Your Brain for Success

Success Starts Here Freeway Style Desert Landscape

I speak to clients all week long who come to me with problems they want to overcome and goals they want to achieve. Sometimes they have been struggling for years trying to create change and improvement in difficult areas of their life. They may have visions and dreams of a better future, happier relationships, enhanced financial prosperity and vibrant health, but despite years of trying, they simply can’t make it happen.

Why is change so hard?

One of the reasons they may feel so stuck and frustrated is because even though their conscious mind says it wants these changes, the subconscious mind is often the one in control. It is estimated that approximately 95 % of our thoughts and beliefs stem from the subconscious mind and many of these beliefs are fearful, negative and based in survival thinking. The subconscious mind is basically the repository for all of our fear and negativity and its job is to keep us “safe”.

The thoughts stemming from our subconscious mind have often been there since childhood and are deeply wired into our brain by the time we reach adulthood. Essentially, our brain is full of neural networks that keep us thinking the same thoughts and acting in the same ways even when a part of us doesn’t want to.

It used to be thought that once we got older it wasn’t possible to change much of this hardwiring in the brain, however we now know this is not true. Neuroplasticity, or brain plasticity, is the ability to change and rewire our neural networks and this can be done at any age.

So, how do we rewire the brain for less of what we don’t want and more of what we do?

Are You Floundering With Your Calling? Maybe This is Why…

by Nancy Harris Leave a Comment

Are You Floundering With Your Calling? Maybe This is Why I believe everyone has a calling or purpose for being here.

We may have multiple callings over the span of a lifetime and most of us feel restless and unfulfilled if we are not doing them. I have especially witnessed that as we reach our 40’s and 50’s it seems to become increasingly uncomfortable if we are not living our life in alignment with our deeper purpose. It is as if, on some level, we know we are running out of time to do what we came here to do.

A calling isn’t necessarily a job or career, although it may take that form. From what I can see, a calling is a deep yearning of our soul to express our gifts and talents and to be of some kind of service to others.

It is the rare person who knows at a young age that they are meant for a certain calling, yet I have heard some say, “I knew as a kid I was supposed to be a teacher, a doctor, a writer,” etc.

I am currently reading the popular book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, and the author of that book describes how she was obsessed with tidying up her family’s home as a very young child. She would buy housekeeping magazines and search for the tips on organizing and decluttering as a young schoolgirl and has now created a flourishing career in Japan as the leading expert in her field.

She’s one of the lucky ones. Most of us muddle through life doing what is expected and required of us and are fortunate if we end up expressing our true talents and gifts. Our school system, socialization and parents, as well meaning as they may be, often steer us away from what lies in our hearts and teach us to listen to rational thinking and logic which rarely lead us to our true calling.

The answers to life’s biggest questions do not come from our rational minds.

Do You Believe In Angels or Divine Helpers? Three Ways to Access Their Assistance

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Do You Believe In Angels or Divine Helpers I’ve always been open to the idea that we are not alone and that there are angelic beings and divine helpers available to us if we chose to call on them. For years, I have heard and read about ways we can ask for their help and that they love to help us in any way we desire. No request is too big or small, too mundane or complex.

Personally, I have called on angelic helpers for all kinds of assistance ranging from finding lost items to bringing me ideal clients and providing guidance when I feel confused and afraid. When I ask for this help, I trust I will receive it and I generally feel amazed at the way things show up and answers are received.

I know for me, this has been one of the most helpful resources in building a successful business. While I put the usual business structures in place, I do not do too much of the recommended marketing. I find it much easier and enjoyable to ask for divine assistance and I have found it works! I may write more about this in the future as I feel it is a much overlooked resource available to all of us.

Recently, I had a fun way of being reminded of this angelic presence. A few days ago I was looking through some old photos on my digital camera and came across the photo above. This photo was taken 4-5 months ago after a wind storm that knocked down this branch in my back yard.

The branch hit my tool shed door and unhooked the door latch which opened the door of the shed. You can see from the photo that the branch landed in such a way that the door of the shed held part of it and the fence supported the rest.

The strange thing was when the branch was removed there was not one trace of any damage to the shed or the fence. Not even a scratch… The man who came to remove the branch for me was amazed that there was no damage. He commented that if the branch had landed differently my shed or fence could have been destroyed.

Five Keys to a Happy Relationship

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As a transformational coach and holistic psychotherapist, about forty percent of my clients are couples, married and unmarried. I love working with couples. It fascinates me to see who someone chooses as a life partner and to explore the dynamics that they create together. It’s an honor and privilege to be allowed into the private matters and sacred territory of the most intimate part of someone’s life.

I have been working with couples for about ten years. Of course, the couples who come to me are in some kind of distress or they wouldn’t need my services. Lately however, I have seen an increase in couples in distress and what seems to be an epidemic of marriages of people in their 50’s hitting the rocks and breaking up. And in most of the cases, it is the woman who wants out and the man who is devastated.

I think there are many reasons this is happening. Woman are tired of putting their needs last and taking care of everyone else. They often have the economic freedom to be on their own and they crave a deeper emotional connection than they are getting. Many times there is also a basic incompatibility that their younger self just did not see which becomes intolerable as one matures and realizes time is finite.

Oftentimes they still love their partner, but don’t love the relationship. It’s complicated, heart-wrenching and life-altering to make this decision, but sometimes there’s no other healthy choice. I get it. I’ve been there and have been through divorce myself.

What I have come to realize is that perhaps some of these relationships could have been saved if they only knew some key relationship skills to use along the way.

Here’s 5 Keys to a Happy Relationship:

Three Steps to Cultivate the Healing Power of Beauty

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Last week I wrote about the healing power of pleasure. It got me thinking about healing in general and what helps us to heal or feel better. I know for me having fun and cultivating beauty in my life are two of the most healing energies I can tap into.

Let’s face it we live in a harsh world with many forces that wear us down, stress us to the max, and present us with daily challenges that often leave us feeling disheartened and discouraged. It can take discipline to get out and have fun or do something to bring a little beauty into our lives when our spirits may be low.

I often wonder why life can’t be easier —kind of like a 5 star resort with turquoise blue water, scrumptious food, loving people, exotic flowers, clear blue skies and beauty and pleasure all around.

I guess if life was like that we wouldn’t grow, evolve and learn the lessons we all came here to learn.

While we can’t live in a 5-star resort all the time, we can bring the healing power of beauty into our lives and let it heal and soothe our body, mind and soul. Ultimately, this will lift our vibration and transport us into a higher frequency of healing.

Once in a higher frequency, we are better able to tap into inner guidance and chose our best next steps in life. More things feel possible and life flows with enhanced grace and ease.

So what are some good ways to cultivate the healing power of beauty? Here are some of my favorite.

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