Personal Growth Archives - Page 3 of 7

How to Use Your Body as a Compass: Navigating Life with Intuition and Awareness—Part 1

When I trained as a Life Coach with Martha Beck, PhD, much of the focus was on how to guide clients to make the most authentic life choices that ultimately lead them down the path to their highest destiny. Who doesn’t want to feel at the end of their days that they fulfilled their mission or purpose and lived their best possible life? This is where learning to use the body as a compass can literally save your life.

The problem is no one really teaches us how to do this.

What I have seen as a coach and therapist is that most of us spend the first few decades of our lives, fulfilling social and familial expectations and as a result doing lots of self-betrayal and self-abandonment in the process.

What does this look like?

How to Unfollow the Flock and Find Your Unique Path

by Nancy Harris Leave a Comment

In today’s hyperconnected world, the pressure to conform is omnipresent. Social media, societal expectations, and cultural norms often steer us into predefined paths. But what if those paths don’t align with your passions, values, or sense of purpose? From what I have seen, this leads to burn out and chronic disconnection from self and others. To truly live authentically and find your unique path, you must learn to unfollow the flock. Here’s a quick outline of key steps:

1. Understand the Flock Mentality

Herd behavior is a natural human tendency. We seek safety in numbers, but this often leads to groupthink. Recognizing this tendency is the first step to breaking free and thinking independently.

2. Question the Status Quo

Ask yourself:

Why do I believe this?
Is this truly my opinion, or have I absorbed it from others?
What would I do differently if I didn’t care about judgment?

By challenging assumptions, you can align your actions with your authentic self.

How Tough Times Can Lead to a Quantum Leap in Growth

by Nancy Harris Leave a Comment

It’s been a tough January here in Colorado and much of the US. Bitter cold and gray skies have kept many of us housebound and more sedentary than usual. We all know it will pass, but how we deal with these brief challenges can reflect our coping skills in general.

How Tough Times Can Lead to a Quantum Leap in Growth

Life often throws challenges our way—those moments that feel insurmountable, where the light at the end of the tunnel seems impossibly distant. Yet, what I’ve seen repeatedly as a life coach is, that tough times are not just obstacles but opportunities for transformation and growth. Let’s look at how adversity can catalyze a quantum leap in personal and professional development.

The Pressure That Creates Diamonds

The saying “pressure makes diamonds” isn’t just a cliché; it’s a powerful metaphor for growth under challenging circumstances. Just as carbon transforms into a diamond under intense pressure and heat, individuals and organizations often find their true potential when faced with adversity. Challenges force us to:

Innovate: When traditional methods fail, we’re compelled to think outside the box.
Adapt: Survival often hinges on our ability to pivot quickly and embrace change.
Resilience: Overcoming hardships builds mental toughness and emotional fortitude.

Who’s Leading Your Life: Your Social Self or Essential Self?

by Nancy Harris Leave a Comment

One of my early mentors as a life coach was Martha Beck, PhD. I completed her Wayfinder Life Coach Training Program in 2007. Martha is a Harvard grad, prolific author and well-know life coach who wrote the life coach column for Oprah magazine. Her teachings had a great impact on me and I use them to this day with my clients.

Martha taught that there are two things in life that take us off our authentic path: trauma and socialization. When young, it is natural to be in full expression of your essential or authentic self if you are lucky enough to be raised in a healthy household with parents who support and foster that expression. However, at some point the authentic self is largely abandoned for the social self in order to survive the culture, fit in and go along with the program.

This self-abandonment can have dire consequences that lead to a half-lived life and dreams long forgotten. The results of this are often what bring clients into my office wondering why they are not happy when they did everything that was expected of them. It’s the classic mid-life crisis, yet it can happen at any age.

How do we find balance and peace between these two parts of ourself when we have to live in a world that expects us to conform in order to survive? And, if we have given too much credence to the wishes of others, can we right the ship and still fulfill our dreams and desires? I believe you can re-align with your essential self at any time and create a more fulfilling life.

Let’s take a quick look at the divide and how this typically plays out:

Are You the Family Scapegoat?

by Nancy Harris 1 Comment

Welcome to the world of a dysfunctional family…There always has to be a scapegoat.

The scapegoat is the person who takes the blame for the family problems. This is the person who is generally trying to speak the truth about what they see and feel is wrong within the family system. Unfortunately, instead of the other family members being willing to look at the problems, they often turn against the truth speaker and target them as the primary problem instead.

Needless to say, being cast in the role of the family scapegoat is severely damaging and traumatizing. Not only is your perception of reality denied and dismissed, but the scapegoat may be banished, ostracized and emotionally abused via gaslighting, blame shifting, triangulating and other passive aggressive behaviors. This treatment can lead to Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, (CPTSD), which includes life-long mental and physical health problems.

Family scapegoats are very common in families with parents with addictions such as alcoholism or with mental health disorders such as narcissism or borderline personally disorder. In these family systems, denial is the order of the day and serves to keep the parent from having to confront their own dysfunctional behavior.

« Previous Page